: 5ocially :: Awkward :

GO!

2011-03-24T20:57:00.000-04:00

JAPAN DISASTER SPECIAL : Foamy The Squirrel

2011-03-15T17:08:00.000-04:00

Finding Myselfe Over Spring Break

2011-03-10T11:30:00.002-05:00

---> Now Playing: The Lazy Song-Bruno Mars <---

Officially my spring break isn't suppose to start until Monday but I've taken it upon myself to start early (seeing as my mid-terms are behind me). I'm sure I'm not the only college student who is eagerly awaiting spring break and the brief period of time to relax a bit. In all honesty it probably would have been a better for me to take the whole semester off but here I am totally burnt out and barely holding on to myself and my sanity (literally).

This semester started off pretty good I felt confidant, but as the weeks went by my focus and drive slowly began to dwindle. I found it harder and harder to motivate myself to do things that I knew I needed to get done.... many days I've had to bargain with myself just to get out the bed smh. Over the past few months I've been really worried about my mental health, I've talked about my depression with my mother. Depression is only one thing that has crossed my mind though, I'm also worried that I maybe bipolar, or that I maybe dealing with ADD. One thing that I know for sure is that I need some mental help ._. sigh.

Other than my mental health and the steps I'm taking to deal with it, I'm looking forward to having a little free time to get back to the things I love doing like reading and writing, but also attempting to explore a few of my new interest like playing guitar. Mostly though I'm going to use this time to RELAX and give my mind a break because I know that after a week its back to work until May.

So all and all I just really need to find the me that I've lost and in a short amount of time.

<--- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

a quick poem

2011-03-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

I always fall for your type

2011-02-15T15:14:00.003-05:00

--->Now Playing: Pink-fuckin Perfect & Natasha Bedingfield-Soul Mate<---

I've heard multiple times that women date/marry men that have similar personalities as their fathers. I'm not sure if this has been studied or if there are any statistics on it, but I agree. Especially because I fit this description to a tee.

Let me explain I don't go on the hunt for men that remind me of my father, and not all the men I like are like my father but looking back on my past many of the guys I've taken seriously have been very much like my father. Now I want to make clear that I love my father TO DEATH, I was a total daddies girl as a kid but with that being said I don't approve of my father's ways in relationships. Why then, you ask, am I attracted to men who are like him? Well as I said before I don't do it purposely and I'm not always immediately aware that these guys are like my father. When I say I don't approve of my fathers ways in relationships I mean his habits and the way he handles situations.and also his personality.

For example, my father has the habit of feeling like his way of thinking is the most logical and therefore the only way to think. He doesn't do this all the time but when he does think this way he becomes critical of his partner, my mother in the past and my step mother currently. I hate this because I have the ability to view a situation from all sides so my feelings towards any situation or subject is ever changing and usually made up of multiple points of views. I also hate to be criticized just for the simple fact that it makes me feel like absolute CRAP. For the most part though I just don't want to deal with an individual that cannot be objective it annoys me. There is just something about this way of thinking that makes me feel like he's being controlling which is a major negative in a relationship.

As far as my fathers personality is concerned there are pros and cons. On some level I really admire my fathers personality being introverted I've always wanted to break out of my shell and and be social, my father does this effortlessly. I think its important to be social but on the negative side my father talks ... a lot. He seems to always have a story to tell and sometimes its the same stories over and over again. I find this trait to be OBNOXIOUS and over time I condition myself to half listen to this annoyance.

Funny enough though some of the guys I've been attracted too in the past, and even my current boyfriend, holds these exact same traits. Why? Is it because I unconsciously select men that are similar to my father, because I admire their extroverted personalities or because their good qualities over ride these negative traits.

QUESTION: If my boyfriend has qualities that I don't like and I know that I hate those qualities , should I doubt my relationship?

<--- Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

I'm changing into myself (a wants list)

2011-02-13T20:51:00.004-05:00

<---Now Playing: Raise your glass-Pink && The Best Of Me- Crisette Michele--->

I want a guitar

I want to learn to play said guitar

I want vocal lessons

not because I want to be an entertainer but

because I want to sing =D

I want purple contacts

and white streaks in my hair

I want to lose weight

I want to learn to drive

I want to see my love

I want to be close to my bestest

I want to be a focused student

I WANT

---> Peace Chicken Grease ♥ <---

4

2010-12-13T09:51:00.003-05:00

----> Now Playing: Like a G6- Far Eastern Movement<----

Four hours on the phone
Four hours I slept
Four inches of snow on my step

<---- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ ---->

VENT

2010-10-28T17:47:00.002-04:00

--->Press Play : Whip My Hair -Willow Smith<---

Since I was seventeen I've had the same desires and goals and when I say the same I mean EXACTLY THE SAME

Life Goals So Far Unreached:

Happy

Healthy

Employed

Self Sufficient

My life is a joke ...and for that matter I don't even have anyone ANYONE to share it with. I could stand not being in a relationship if only I had a true friend (nothing against the friends I have) some one who completely understands me, someone I can relate to. BUT I have neither ............

<--- Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

Summer 2010 Life Vent =]

2010-08-04T19:12:00.003-04:00

----->Press Play: Superhuman- Chris Brown<-----

2010 is most definitely flying by fast. The year started off rocky and sort of stress full but recently it seem like things have settled down. That being said I have still been WAY to busy to blog, there is just too much going on at the moment.

I started school, I just finished my summer courses and boy let me tell you that was a lesson in and of its self right there. No one told me that it would be a bad idea to have a full schedule while taking summer courses (theres not enough time to get it all done). I registered for four courses , I had to withdraw from one because I couldn't keep up, another ended early, and this week was the last classes for the other two and surprisingly I earned a "B" in all three classes I'm sorta proud of my self for that. Now I get two weeks off before I have to get back to it with the fall semester.

Besides that I've been dealing with sickness within my family, which needless to say has me stressing. My nephew Tae'on J George was born July 12 with a super rare birth defect , Tracher Collis Syndrome. The poor lil guy was born with partially formed ears and chin and also a clef palette due to the syndrome that causes malformation of cranial bone structure. He's fine and growing but there are still complications but we don't focus on those thing were all just so excited that the doctors say he won't need hearing aids because he absolutely has hearing and both ears {{THANK GOD!}}. -

Last week my mother was rushed to the emergency room because she was having pain in her left arm. Turns out she she wasn't having and heart attack thank goodness but she was extremely anemic with a blood count of only 5, she need 3 pints of blood 5 days rest from work, medication and now shes doing fine, back at work and everything,

My birthday is in a month WOW (9-5-1990) about to hit 20 and my life is still very much lacking =[ . Not to mention the fact that I feel like I wasted my teen years no parties, boyfriends, trips, or memorable experiences huh ugh oh well can't live in the past can only do better with my 20's ...... Growing up is hard to do.

PS: Sorry for spelling and punctuation errors this was just a quick post =]

<---- Peace Chicken Grease ♥ ---->

: Squirrel Songs VI : Foamy The Squirrel

2010-04-16T22:58:00.000-04:00

Ignorance Isn't Bliss...It's just ignorance

2010-03-10T21:28:00.003-05:00

Howard Stern is back at it again, spewing his ignorance. He seems to think its ok to say Gabourey Sidibe is "an enormous woman,as big as a planet" and will die in two years. He mocks Oprah for praising the star, of the movie Precious, and telling her that she has a promising career. He and his co-host (and probably thousands of others) think she shouldn't have won the Best Actress award because she would "never" be in another movie, "what role would she play" they joked and laughed poking fun at not only her weight but also her name, going on to say that Hollywood should do an intervention on her and since she now has money she should "go get her self thin."

All I can think is, WTF! Really are we in elementary school on the play ground thinking up thee most horrible hurtful things we can say about anyone who isn't average? Is it really necessary to completely disrespect some one just because YOU don't think they accomplished something? Well FYI she won an award so your opinion is obviously out numbered. And to condemn her career based SOLELY on physical appearance is just simple minded.

Don't get me wrong as a person that is over weight myself I know that there are health concerns behind anyone of that weight, but to poke fun at and criticize some one because of it is pure childishness, I personally expect more from clear thinking adults. Also to tie her career and talent to her weight is just ridiculous in my opinion as if there haven't been great performers who were overweight : Queen Latifa, Monique, and Oprah just to name a few. Some of their comments were truly outrageous "Now you've got a little money in the bank go get your self thin" I mean seriously how much more ignorant can you get?? I'm not sure if they have the mental capacity to understand (or sympathize) that losing weight isn't as easy as just GOING and GETTING thin and if she was to go get some sort of surgery or lose 100 pounds then she'd be chastised for that.

It never ceases to amaze me how much people shun what they don't understand and how easy it is for them to criticize instead of sympathize, even if you don't agree/like/or approve of who or how someone is at least have the decency and tact to at least give them the FULL respect that they deserve...

So What Do You Think??

<--- || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || --->

Its A Bird , Its A Plan, Nope It Just Me

2010-03-09T22:03:00.002-05:00

---> Press Play : Love Story- Taylor Swift <---

Yes I'm back at it again after being away from my blog for a few months. I originally said that I would start posting on the regular but ended up stopping all together because I didn't feel like my blog was all that great. The more blogs I follow the more my blog seems a lil silly to me, my topics are really all over the place and my writing isn't all that compelling BUT I took a step back and remembered that I began this blog for fun so my 3 lovely followers can ignore my ramblings or read along. So I will post as much as I like on what I like (which is a lot)and hopefully this blog here won't suck =]

The topics I blog about are all things that spark my interest through out the day so from here on out my post will more than likely touch basis on things like

Makeup (my new found obsession)
Nail polish (another new found obsession)
Weight loss (seeing as I'm trying to shed the pounds)
Depression (seeing as I've finally admitted to my self that I'm suffering from it)
Plus size fashion (Because all girls just want to look nice rite?)
And other miscellaneous crap that comes to my mind (because I'm random like that)

I'm really looking forward to taking this blog further because I do love to write and since graduating from high school I haven't really been writing much, should be fun to get back into that. The big plan with all of this though is for me to commit to this so it will be easier to commit to other things. One step at a time right?
Well Ta Ta For Now =]

<--- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

Out of practice

2009-11-09T19:20:00.002-05:00

---> Currently on repeat:Russian Roulette-Rhianna<---

Haha so its been a while since I've posted any thing because I was temporarily without internet but IM BACK, but I've decided to take things slow until I'm back in the swing of things. So today I give you my Monday Poll
Lets begin =]

. Mood - Negative
Hometown: Cleveland
Parents Still Together?: No
Siblings: 1 sis, 3 bros
Orientation: straight
APPEARANCE
Hair Color: Blk
Eye Color: brown
Glasses/Contacts/None?: Glasses
LIKES/DISLIKES
Favorite Color: Orange
Worst Color: Brown
Favorite Number: 4s
Favorite Food: Cereal
Worst Food: Peas
Favorite Junk Food: Chocolate
Worst Junk Food: idk
Favorite Restaurant: Kraker barrel
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chunky Munky
Favorite Alcoholic Drink: green apple Smirnoff
Favorite NON Alcoholic Drink: Lipton Citrus Green Tea
Favorite Genre of Music: Hip Hop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy The Little In site On Me?? I Hope So

<--- || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || --->

Newest Poem Of Mine || READ IT

2009-10-03T21:19:00.002-04:00

----> Listening To: Spaceship- Kanye West <----

Asphalt Covered Strawberries
Cookies And Screams
In This Beautiful Disaster Of A Life
I Take The Nightmares With The Dreams
Excruciating Happiness
And All The Terrible Things
Reek Havoc On My Liveliness
And Rips My Soul From Its Seems
Sand Paper Bandages
Cover Emotional Wounds
While Poison Flavored Medicine
Makes Me High As The Moon
Looking Down On Sweet Depression
And Facing Sour Hope
I Posses The Helpless Power
That Lets Me Cope

----> || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || <----

You Can Call It Biting

2009-10-03T01:30:00.003-04:00

----> Listening To: Lost- Gorrila Zoe<----

I Think I Might Have A Woman Besides My Mother To Idolize. Her Name Is Anansa Sims, She Is A Very Successful Black Plus Size Model And Appears In The Pic Above Which Just Happens To Be The Cover Of The November Issue Of Glamour Magg. Its Wonderful To See Real Women In Maggz I Hope That One Day I'll Be Comfortable Enough In My Own Skin To Take A Pic Like This. BUT Enough On That Subject { More To Come Later} Its Time To Change Gears A Bit And Move On To A Related Topic.

So I Did A Blogging No No I Copied And Pasted This SORRY But I Felt It Was Super Interesting Not To Mention Important to Touch On. I Got This From A Really Nice Blog Called Fat Lot of Good

Call It Biting If You Want BUT I Just Really Thought I Should Pass It On, Go To Her Blog To Read The Entire Post And Please Don't Hate Me.

"""The BMI was developed by a Belgian mathematician by the name of Adolphe Quetelet in the mid 19th century and was originally known as Quetelet’s formula. Quetelet was involved in the area of social statistics and worked with life insurance companies regarding morbidity and mortality (death and life). However the BMI didn’t expand into a widely utilised phenomenon until the early 1970s when Ancel Keys (he of the Minnesota Starvation Experiment) found the the formula to be ‘the best proxy for body fat percentage among ratios of weight and height’ but the kicker is that Keys explicitly cited the BMI was being only appropriate for population studies and inappropriate for categorising individuals. BMI was never designed to be a numerical authority for medical diagnosis. Obviously though, that is exactly what the BMI is used for today.

BMI is ineffective in that it reports an inaccurate percentage of body fat for particularly tall people and for those with well developed muscle mass (such as athletes) as well as not considering racial characteristics. I remember years ago that BMI charts always came with the disclaimer that they were inappropriate for application to children and young people under the age of 18. I imagine this was because of the periods of growth that young people experience and that many children and young people gain weight before increasing in height. Unfortunately it seems that in our enlightened 21st century, growth spurts have been discounted and children are fair game as fatties, just like the rest of us. Not to mention that the arbitrary designations of the BMI have and continue to vary from country to country. In 1998, tens of millions of ‘average weight’ US citizens became ‘overweight’ overnight when the National Institutes of Health moved the US BMI categories into line with the World Health Organisation guidelines. Apparently it has also emerged that there have been recommendations for the threshold to be lowered for South East Asian body types, which brings into question the entire issue of racial identification. For example, someone might have an African American grandfather and a Caucasian grandmother whose father identifies as African American but who obviously has Caucasian genetic characteristics and their mother might identify as South East Asian but her father is actually descended from Northern Europe and her mother’s parent’s identify as Australian Aboriginal and Korean… You get the idea. It is virtually impossible to label someone racially based on genetics alone, racial identification is more about personal identification - ie with which ethnicity an individual chooses to identify.

Basically, the BMI is crap. It is inaccurate, inappropriate and generally useless for application of body weight based designations to individuals."""

I Totally Agree With This. Thank You Again, Bri Knight, For This Post I Hope I've Given You The Right Amount Of Recognition.

----> || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || <----

The Season For Screams

2009-10-02T00:01:00.004-04:00

---->Press Play: Consequence-Kanye West<----

||ITS OCTOBER ||
It's Time For Ghouls And Goblin
Thrills And Chills >={

The 1st Was My Little Cousin Miracle's Birthday. Happy 8th Birthday Miracel!!
Later On This Month... On The 26th My Niece Danaija Will Be 7 =]
Ahh And Of Course HALLOWEEN *Muhaahaahaaa* lol lol
So In Order To Be Festive And Get My Blog In The Mood I Thought I'd Share A Childhood Halloween Song I Learned At School

::::: The Ghost Of John::::
[Sung In A Round]

Have you seen the ghost of John?
Long white bones with the skin all gone
Oooh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oooh, Oh Oh Oh Oh
Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on

Haha This Song Is Forever Embedded Into My Brain I Don't Think I'll Ever Forget It. I Kinda Wish I Was Still Young Enough To Feel The Magic Of Halloween Still.... Ah Memories.
I Still Remember My Costumes Every Year Since Age4..Gotta Love Selective Memory=]

There Was The Pink Power Ranger When I Was Four
The Yellow Power Ranger When I Was Five
The Angel When I Was Six
Then I Was A Tootsie Roll For Three Years Straight [Best Candy Getting Costume Hands Down]
Then I Was A "Vampiertres" {Last Minute Costume} When I Was Ten
When I Was Eleven I Was Permitted To Go Alone =0 So I Chose To Be A Witch/Vampire (Weird Now That I Think Back On It)
At Twelve I Went To My First Halloween Party And Went As A Witch {Decked Out In Make Up And A Broom}
At Thirteen I Helped My Sister With My 2Year Old Nephew {Bat} && 1Year Old Niece {Cat} So Me And Her Just Stopped By The Drug Store And Bought Wigs Hers Was Electric Pink Mine Neon Blue lol
And Finally At Fourteen I Decided I Was Too Old And Gave It Up =[

Good Times Good Times =]

<---- || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || ---->

I'm Here To Drop Some Knowlege

2009-10-01T00:58:00.002-04:00

---->Listening To:Theres Hope && Video-India Arie<----

So I Tuned Into Oprah Today And What Do I See?? Her And Chris Rock Talking About "Good Hair" Not Just Black Women And Their Weaves And Perms But White Women With Their Dye Blond Hair.

I Personally Feel Like It's A Good Topic To Touch On It Deff Effects A Lot Of People. What Really Shocked Me Though Is When They Spoke About A PreK Aged Girl Who Didn't Like Her Hair Because It Didn't "Go Down" Like All The Other Kids In Her Class. That To Me Is Way To Young For Any Girl To Be Unhappy With Her Self Image WoW.

At The Same Time The Grown Women Where Off The Hook Too ,Now I Didn't See The Whole Show But A White Woman Said She Felt More "Striking" As A Blonde Than As An Auburn *WTF* But Chris And Oprah Made A Good Point, How Could She Feel More Striking When She Looks Like Everyone Else??? Solange Knowles Was On There Talking About Why She Cut Her Hair And She Said She Got Her First Perm At Age 4 =0 Now Thats Crazy. She Also Spoke On How She Would Never Feel As Pretty In Between Weaves And Thats Why She Cut Her Hair To "Free Herself" From Those Feelings.

Another Shocking Story Was About Women And Girls In India Who Cut Their Hair BALD As Part Of A Religious Ceremony Honoring Their Gods. The Hair Is Cut At Their Place Of Worship But The Church Then Sells Their Hair To The Weave Industry WOW WOW WOW. Those Women Don't Even Know The Worth Of Their Hair Or Whats Being Done To It After Its Shaved Off. I Wonder If They Knew Would It Change Their Views On It?

I Myself Have Been Getting Relaxers Since I Was About 7 or 8 And I Have Had A Few Weaves And Fake Pony Tails But The Only Time I've Done It For The Looks Was For My Graduation Pictures And My Prom. I Perm My Hair Not Because Of Looks But Because Its SOOOO Much More Easier To Handel, Especially For Me Because I Have A Hard Time Doing/Styling My Hair, Like Just Flat Ironing My Hair Is A Hassle For Me To Do On My Own. I Will Say I Do Have Issues With Short Hair I Hate To See Myself With Short Hair To Me It Makes My Head Look Fatter/Rounder Than It Already Is. Other Than That I Like My Relaxers So That I Can Easily Style My Hair Which For The Most Part Is In A Pony Tail.

The Knowledge
Has Been Dropped

<---- || Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || ---->

My Own Private Slumber Party

2009-09-30T02:26:00.002-04:00

---->Press Play: Puke-Eminem<----

Yup I'm Up All Late For No Reason At All. It Was Like Super Chilly Cheese Fries Out Side Today We Even Turned The Heat On.

I'm Realizing That So Many Of The Things That Are Important In A 19 Year Olds Life Are Missing ;S From My Life
I Am Jobless,I'm Not In College And I Don't Have A Love Interest {{How Bland Is My Life Huh}}

The Jobless\Schooless Thing I Think People Can Over Look But The Lack Of Love Interest Plus My Lack Of Dating In The Past Has Even My Family Questioning My Orientation Well Verdicts Out People I'm Straight As A -----Limbo Stick----- [haha I'm So Witty]

I Know It's Hard For People To Tell Which Is Why I Don't Get Super Upset About What They Think. Far As They Know I've Only Had One Boy Friend Three Years Ago BUT My Track Record Is Slightly Longer Than That (only a lil)

There Was /D\ When I Was 15|I'd Rather Not Elaborate|
Then Arkene The Official When I Was 16 |only for 2.5 months|
Then /B\ Last Year He Had Lots Of Potential But Wanted A WHOLE LOT {FWB} Just To Be My "Bestie" :s
Oh Yes Let Us Not Forget About Ty My Own Personal Confusion Full Of Potential... To Bad He Only Wants Sex ,,,And Yet I Keep On Seeing/Talking To Him ugh Silly Me

Add Those To The 3 or 4 Guys Who Never Made It Past Phone Calls And I Haven't Done So Bad Really...Have I??
Oh But Back On Topic No One Really Knows About Anyone Other Than D And Arkene [My Family Doesn't Even Know About D]
So Their Confusion About Who/What I Like Is Partly My Fault But I Do Love My Privacy =]
Yess But It Would Be Nice To Move On Past All The Insignificance And On To Something A Little ... More

ANYONE KNOW AN AVAILABLE CHUBBY CHASER??
PLEASE SEND HIM MY WAY ;] LOL

<----|| pEACE ChickeN GreAse ♥ || ---->

PS:: I'm Sorry My Punctuation And Grammer SUCK, I'll Work On It.

With Out Rain You Can't Have Rainbows

2009-09-28T22:57:00.003-04:00

-->Playing:Butterflies-Michael Jackson&These Words-Natasha Bedingfeild<--

Cold Dark Raining Gloomy Weekend Ugh lol
I Was Up With The Sun Babysitting Saturday And Super Frustrated Yesterday But I Did Get To See My Phatt Phatt ♥ So She Brought A Rainbow Into My Gloom.

I Really Need To Get This Depression Thing Under Control I Most Deff Need To Get The Balls To Go See A Doctor Blahh But Really These Bouts Of Depression Are Really Starting To Take Their Toll On Me.

On Another Note I Figured That I'd Post Another One Of My Old Poems Today So With Out Any Further Ado I Present

Red Room

Awaken By A Rhythmus Thud

I Find Myself

In A Room The Color Of Blood

The Hue Of Rage

It Encloses Me

Like A Barbwire Cage

As The Beat Increases

The Room Crumbles

And Simply Falls To Pieces

Around Me The Derbies Lay

In All The Hues

Of Blacks, Blues And Gray

And Yet Still

I'm Anchored To This One Spot

A Prisoner To This Heart

That The Warden Of Love Forgot

Some Days I Feel Like I'm Amazing With My Words Other Days I Feel Like Such A Wanna Be Poet :S// What Do You Think???

<---|| Peace Chicken Greace ♥ ||--->

Always Push Through With A Smile

2009-09-25T23:56:00.003-04:00

See Thiss Kidd She's Pretty Darn Great ♥ =]

---->Listening To: Forever-Drake && Just To Get By- Talib Kweli<----

So I Was RUDELY Awaken This Morning By My Sis On The Computer emailing Her "boo" In Texas blahh :{ So I've Been Super Tired All Day Ugh. But On A Brighter Note My Brother Brought Over My Niece Ta'Leah bka my Phatt Phatt ♥ Lubbz That Gurl To Death Yup =]
So I Played TeeTee (thats what my nieces and nephews call me) Even Though I Was Out Of It.

I Talked To My Father To Day oh joy :S Don't Get Me Wrong I Love My Father And We Get Along ... I Guess, But The Older I Get The More Frustrated I Get With Him Its Like I Have No Patients For Him, I Think Its Mainly Because I Grew Up A Daddy's Girl And He Could Do No Wrong But Now At The Age Of 19 I See What Is Fact And I'm A Lil Disappointed He Hasn't Lived Up To My Childish Dreams I See He Makes Mistakes And Has Huge Flaws Just Like Me...So How Can He Tell Me What To Do With My Life When He Didn't Do The Best He Could With His???
Another Thing That Is Rocky In Our Father Daughter Relationship Is That My Father Is Really Out Going Dominant A Leader A Go Getter {{Everything I Hate Myself For Not Being}}
And I'm Shy Reserved Anti-Social A Procrastinator, And Very Passive And He Expects Me To Be More Like Him {{Guess I Haven't Met His Standards Either Huh}}
All And All Our Relationship Isn't As Easy Now That He's not Super Dad And I'm Not Daddy's Lil Girl ...God Will Work It Out I'm Sure.

Heres Something Interesting Today On Facebook I Took A Quiz That Calculated How Long I've Been Alive::: Here Are The Results :::

19 years
0 months
21 days
228 months
? weeks(they got that wrong)
6961 days
167064 hours
10023840 minutes
601430400 seconds
&& 4 leap years
WOW

Pinky Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?? || Thats A Whole Lotta Numbers ...Makes Me Feel Old LoL|| * End Thoughts Here* Lol

<----|| Peace Chicken Grease ♥ || ---->

And Nobody Knows It But Me <3

2009-09-25T00:09:00.005-04:00

---->Listening To:Say I-Christina Milian && Carmel-City High<----

Today I Finally Got My Day Alone [[Well A Few Hours At Least]] And It Felt Damn Good =]
I love Having Time Alone It's Just Me I've Always Been Anti-Social.
I Used My Time Wisely And Worked On Photoshop I Think Its Important To Practice With It As Much As I Can Seeing As I'll Be Going To School For It And Working In Some Kind Of Field That Uses It Yupp.

I Realized Today That I Haven't Written A Poem In MONTHS :S
I Would Really Love To Get Back Into That, I Just Haven't Had Much Inspiration.
But None The Less I Figured I'd Post A Poem Here To Pay Homage To My Skill =]
Enjoy ♥

:: Have You Ever::
August2008

Have you ever felt out of your skin?

Like to breathe in is a sin...

Like every new day is living a lie, over and over again,

And wanting to start anew but not knowing where to begin?

Have you ever felt out of your skin?

Have you ever felt out of your mind?

Constantly searching within it for something you'll never find

Looking for answers to questions long ago left behind,

brought up by regrets made over time

Have you ever felt out of your mind?

Have you ever felt out of your place?

Like waking up where you are, is too hard to face?

Like everything around you is moving at a suicidal pace

And to wish you could disappear without a trace

Have you ever felt out of your place?

Do You Love It???

<---- || Peace Chicken Grease || ---->

And this is how my speech goesI deserve this ish, I deserve this ish, I deserve this ish-Drake

2009-09-23T20:10:00.008-04:00

---->Listening To Brighter Day-Kirk Franklin<----

Catch The Quote At Thee Top?? Yeah Thats How I Feel. When My Thoughts Crowd My Mind And I Can't Think I Go Straight For My ipod And Blast The Music Into My Ears It's The Most Effective Way I've Found To Clear My Mind And Calm My Self {[Aside From Isolating My Self =] LoL]}

Well I Didn't Get My Day Home Alone Like I Hoped;; But It Wasn't That Badd. We Went To The Park Then To The Library, The Kids Had A Lot Of Fun, I Most Deff Need To Pay My Fines Off My Library Card So I Won't Have To Keep Buying The Books I Want.

Because Of All Our Driving Around I Didn't Get To Work With My Photoshop Much, I Really Need To Find Some Tutorials. I Also Didn't Get To Fill Out Any Apps Online Today Gottz To Get Back On Top Of That.

HaHa Today Some Lady Thought I Was Nephew's Mother WoW I Mean Really I'm Nineteen He's Eight Who Thinks About Sex At Eleven :: Not I Said The Cat.

Almost Finished With My Book But I've Been Slippin On My Crocheting. So I Need To Get Back To That.

<---- ||Peace Chicken Grease<3||>

Twisted

2009-09-22T20:38:00.006-04:00

---------> These Songs Are On Repeat|| Reflection-Lea Salonga {Mulan soundtrack} ;; I Feel Like Dying -Lil Wayne <---------

If those song seem a little depressing to you theres a reason for that. Today was one of those days I can do with out ughh. The kidds (BKA my Niece && Nephews) stayed home today can we say FRUSTRATION, don't get me wrong I love em to death but for an 8,7, and 2 year old they sure do know how to press all the wrong buttons on peoples nerves. My mother was home so that deff help yup BUT none of thats important so lets move on shall we =]

Todays major points were unemployment and photoshop. Everybody's favorite topic of how I don't have a job yet came up again today apparently I'm making excuses GREAT they seem no to be able to realize that not having a job and generally doing nothing with my life is DEPRESSING ME duhh geezz, maybe I hide my emotions to well/// so maybe I should do it through the lyrics of the songs.....
|||

Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight
Back at me
Why is my reflection
someone I don't know?
Somehow, I cannot hide
Who I am, though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside --Reflection-Lea Salonga

Only once the drugs are done
That I feel like dying, I feel like dying
I can mingle with the stars & throw a party on Mars
I am a prisoner locked up behind Xanax bars--I Feel Like-Dying Lil Wayne

|||

I Kinda Love Those Songs {{My Mother Thinks Its Morbid}}
They Fit How I Feel Some Times.
But anyway I installed photoshop today YESSS.
I actualy plan on making a career out of photo editing and all that such,
so it's a good thing to have handy.
Plus its fun and such a boredum buster.

AND IN THE MORNING IMMA MAKE WAFFLES *Donkey's voice* Love Shrek;; But really tomorrow I'll Have The House To Myself THANK YOU JESUS!

Why Oh Why Am I So Anti Social???? Oh Well =]

____Well Its About That Time To Return My Thoughts Behind Bars____

<----Peace Chicken Grease---->

Insomnia

2009-09-22T01:42:00.000-04:00

----Listening to: Killing Me Softly -Lauryn Hill----

So Its about 1:54am and I'm completely wide awake, story of my life ugh, I more than likely won't get sleepy until 3 or 4 am. Since I'm up I decided to blog for the very first time yup, so lets see how this goes. I have big plans for this blog, even if it is just for personal entertainment, but I'll wait until a decent time to put them into effect. For right now I'll continue to be frustrated with my stupid dead Revol phone and its broken charger blahh, maybe I'll work on my blanket that I'm crocheting some more or maybe I'll just read my book, 92 Pacific Boulevard by Debbie Macomber, its pretty good. Either way it goes its time for me to get off of here.
__Peace Chicken Grease <3__