JAPAN DISASTER SPECIAL : Foamy The Squirrel

Finding Myselfe Over Spring Break

---> Now Playing: The Lazy Song-Bruno Mars <---

Officially my spring break isn't suppose to start until Monday but I've taken it upon myself to start early (seeing as my mid-terms are behind me). I'm sure I'm not the only college student who is eagerly awaiting spring break and the brief period of time to relax a bit. In all honesty it probably would have been a better for me to take the whole semester off but here I am totally burnt out and barely holding on to myself and my sanity (literally).


This semester started off pretty good I felt confidant, but as the weeks went by my focus and drive slowly began to dwindle. I found it harder and harder to motivate myself to do things that I knew I needed to get done.... many days I've had to bargain with myself just to get out the bed smh. Over the past few months I've been really worried about my mental health, I've talked about my depression with my mother. Depression is only one thing that has crossed my mind though, I'm also worried that I maybe bipolar, or that I maybe dealing with ADD. One thing that I know for sure is that I need some mental help ._. sigh.


Other than my mental health and the steps I'm taking to deal with it, I'm looking forward to having a little free time to get back to the things I love doing like reading and writing, but also attempting to explore a few of my new interest like playing guitar. Mostly though I'm going to use this time to RELAX and give my mind a break because I know that after a week its back to work until May.


So all and all I just really need to find the me that I've lost and in a short amount of time.

<--- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

I always fall for your type

--->Now Playing: Pink-fuckin Perfect & Natasha Bedingfield-Soul Mate<---

I've heard multiple times that women date/marry men that have similar personalities as their fathers. I'm not sure if this has been studied or if there are any statistics on it, but I agree. Especially because I fit this description to a tee.

Let me explain I don't go on the hunt for men that remind me of my father, and not all the men I like are like my father but looking back on my past many of the guys I've taken seriously have been very much like my father. Now I want to make clear that I love my father TO DEATH, I was a total daddies girl as a kid but with that being said I don't approve of my father's ways in relationships. Why then, you ask, am I attracted to men who are like him? Well as I said before I don't do it purposely and I'm not always immediately aware that these guys are like my father. When I say I don't approve of my fathers ways in relationships I mean his habits and the way he handles situations.and also his personality.

For example, my father has the habit of feeling like his way of thinking is the most logical and therefore the only way to think. He doesn't do this all the time but when he does think this way he becomes critical of his partner, my mother in the past and my step mother currently. I hate this because I have the ability to view a situation from all sides so my feelings towards any situation or subject is ever changing and usually made up of multiple points of views. I also hate to be criticized just for the simple fact that it makes me feel like absolute CRAP. For the most part though I just don't want to deal with an individual that cannot be objective it annoys me. There is just something about this way of thinking that makes me feel like he's being controlling which is a major negative in a relationship.

As far as my fathers personality is concerned there are pros and cons. On some level I really admire my fathers personality being introverted I've always wanted to break out of my shell and and be social, my father does this effortlessly. I think its important to be social but on the negative side my father talks ... a lot. He seems to always have a story to tell and sometimes its the same stories over and over again. I find this trait to be OBNOXIOUS and over time I condition myself to half listen to this annoyance.

Funny enough though some of the guys I've been attracted too in the past, and even my current boyfriend, holds these exact same traits. Why? Is it because I unconsciously select men that are similar to my father, because I admire their extroverted personalities or because their good qualities over ride these negative traits.

QUESTION: If my boyfriend has qualities that I don't like and I know that I hate those qualities , should I doubt my relationship?

<--- Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->

4

----> Now Playing: Like a G6- Far Eastern Movement<----

Four hours on the phone
Four hours I slept
Four inches of snow on my step

<---- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ ---->

Summer 2010 Life Vent =]

----->Press Play: Superhuman- Chris Brown<-----

2010 is most definitely flying by fast. The year started off rocky and sort of stress full but recently it seem like things have settled down. That being said I have still been WAY to busy to blog, there is just too much going on at the moment.

I started school, I just finished my summer courses and boy let me tell you that was a lesson in and of its self right there. No one told me that it would be a bad idea to have a full schedule while taking summer courses (theres not enough time to get it all done). I registered for four courses , I had to withdraw from one because I couldn't keep up, another ended early, and this week was the last classes for the other two and surprisingly I earned a "B" in all three classes I'm sorta proud of my self for that. Now I get two weeks off before I have to get back to it with the fall semester.

Besides that I've been dealing with sickness within my family, which needless to say has me stressing. My nephew Tae'on J George was born July 12 with a super rare birth defect , Tracher Collis Syndrome. The poor lil guy was born with partially formed ears and chin and also a clef palette due to the syndrome that causes malformation of cranial bone structure. He's fine and growing but there are still complications but we don't focus on those thing were all just so excited that the doctors say he won't need hearing aids because he absolutely has hearing and both ears {{THANK GOD!}}. -

Last week my mother was rushed to the emergency room because she was having pain in her left arm. Turns out she she wasn't having and heart attack thank goodness but she was extremely anemic with a blood count of only 5, she need 3 pints of blood 5 days rest from work, medication and now shes doing fine, back at work and everything,

My birthday is in a month WOW (9-5-1990) about to hit 20 and my life is still very much lacking =[ . Not to mention the fact that I feel like I wasted my teen years no parties, boyfriends, trips, or memorable experiences huh ugh oh well can't live in the past can only do better with my 20's ...... Growing up is hard to do.

PS: Sorry for spelling and punctuation errors this was just a quick post =]

<---- Peace Chicken Grease ♥ ---->

: Squirrel Songs VI : Foamy The Squirrel

Its A Bird , Its A Plan, Nope It Just Me

---> Press Play : Love Story- Taylor Swift <---

Yes I'm back at it again after being away from my blog for a few months. I originally said that I would start posting on the regular but ended up stopping all together because I didn't feel like my blog was all that great. The more blogs I follow the more my blog seems a lil silly to me, my topics are really all over the place and my writing isn't all that compelling BUT I took a step back and remembered that I began this blog for fun so my 3 lovely followers can ignore my ramblings or read along. So I will post as much as I like on what I like (which is a lot)and hopefully this blog here won't suck =]

The topics I blog about are all things that spark my interest through out the day so from here on out my post will more than likely touch basis on things like

• Makeup (my new found obsession)
• Nail polish (another new found obsession)
• Weight loss (seeing as I'm trying to shed the pounds)
• Depression (seeing as I've finally admitted to my self that I'm suffering from it)
• Plus size fashion (Because all girls just want to look nice rite?)
• And other miscellaneous crap that comes to my mind (because I'm random like that)

I'm really looking forward to taking this blog further because I do love to write and since graduating from high school I haven't really been writing much, should be fun to get back into that. The big plan with all of this though is for me to commit to this so it will be easier to commit to other things. One step at a time right?
Well Ta Ta For Now =]

<--- ♥ Peace Chicken Grease ♥ --->